My mental circus, inside and out.

Graeber

On the recommendation of a friend, Emma has been reading some work by David Graeber, an anthropologist and anarchist.   In the Jan 2007 issue of Harper's, he has a really interesting argument about how societies like the United States have polarized egotism (markets, money, value)  and altruism (community giving, philanthropy, religious idealism).  Strongly egotistic societies must balance their egotism by institutionalizing religion as a kind of corrective.   That is why Republicans can have an agenda that is based both on rampant capitalism (value) and Christian family values.  Graeber thinks that egotism and altruism can exist in a less polarized state in human societies, if we treated people just as we felt about them, rather than as abstractions.  He also makes the fascinating point that we are always trying to transform market value into some higher values (ie. taking one's wealth and donating it to museums).   We see altruism as our highest form of achievement. 

Posted by: EmmaPele at March 31, 2007 23:19 | link | comments

non-attachment redux

It's a great day!  This is from the Daily Enlightenment on buddhanet.net:

Have: great.
Don't have: it's okay.

It's staying: great.
It's not staying: it's okay.

This is non-attachment:
the unyearning all accepting heart.

This is ease and simplicity.
This is a key to living without suffering:
happiness.

 

Posted by: EmmaPele at March 29, 2007 06:03 | link | comments (2)

logorrhea

Ok, there's storytelling and then there's logorrhea. Many academics suffer from logorrhea, which is the inability to shut up.  It's mostly men who do this, and it can make committee meetings absolutely dreadful. 

Emma is thinking about this because she was out to dinner with a visiting scholar and a bunch of graduate students who all do oral history.  Now, one can imagine that the ideal oral historian is one who listens very carefully, and indeed, there were some delightful people at this table who obviously had a great deal of talent in listening and saying the most insighful and charming things in response to people's stories.   One woman at the table--white hair, petite, emaculately dressed in a feminine blue suit,  the voice of a sweet old lady but sharp and kind--Emma instantly loved her because she would just come out with the wisest aphorisms.  But then, the lonely person, in graduate school because he had never been able to make a career, suffering from health problems that he believed were caused by mercury in his tooth fillings.  The guy who talks too much because he wants desperately to be loved, but has no conception of listening.   He drove Emma home because she needed a ride and he was going her way, but on and on he went about the geography of an obscure part of some desert  in the Middle East and how all his theories  had been rejected, not to mention his struggle with fibromyalgia. 

And because Emma was inspired by the oral historians, inspired by their patience--one of them said, "It's good to let people ramble because eventually they will get to something *really* interesting"--she *really* tried to listen.  She thought:  This is an exercise in mindfulness. 

So Emma listened, waiting for the something really interesting, but she lost patience, and began to drift off, the words becoming just sounds sounds sounds, the mouth moving, Emma nodding as if she were listening (she's extremely good at this, which is why people ramble at her), and hoping she wouldn't be given a quiz.   After he pulled into her driveway, he still wouldn't stop, and so they sat there, in the driveway, the poor lonely graduate student talking and talking.  Emma looked at the clock: ten minutes in the driveway with no sign of a let-up.  And she finally said, "I really have to go."  He looked crushed.  Emma felt bad.  She felt bad because, you know, the guy had health problems, maybe he wasn't completely in his right mind, and what would it have cost her to pay attention and give hin  .. . what?. .  .another hour or two?

Does loving-kindness mean you have to listen? Or should you preserve your calm against the onslaught, walk away, have a sweet moment of silence?

 

Posted by: EmmaPele at March 27, 2007 09:41 | link | comments (3)

Emma found this site called DemocraticSingles.  Lots of cool lefties.  It definitely swings towards an older female crowd which should tell you something about the state of politcs in this country. Emma read once that since men die younger than women, old boomer women will eventually be the biggest voting block in the country. Not sure that comes out right, statistically, but it's fun to imagine we'd be in power someday, and maybe that's what Hillary's rise is all about.  Hillary was the valedictorian of her class at Wellsley, and when she gave her speech, she tossed aside her prepared remarks and launched a stinging anti-war speech, for which she received a standing ovation.  Emma always thought Hillary was smarter than Bill, though Bill is smart enough. 

Posted by: EmmaPele at March 26, 2007 09:47 | link | comments

Frogs, redux

Last night, Emma went to a storytelling slam at the coffee shop where her daughter works.  This was a wonderful thing.  On this blog site, we read each other's stories.  so we know the power of stories, all woven together to build community.  There's something about formal storytelling that's different than having a conversation.  Emma thinks that storytelling reveals more about a person than small talk. The stories that we know, that we have kept with us, are important in shaping who we are, in a large sense as connected beings. Public storytelling, in which people stand up and tell a polished story, is somewhat like blogging,only more intimate, since everyone is physically present.  There were very good storytellers at the slam, who were both excellent writers and dramatic speakers.   Emma can't really summarize what this was like, except to encourage you to go to your local storytelling groups amd tell your own stories.

In the park today, Emma, Noah, and Max saw a gardener snake and a beautiful frog with golden eyes and iridescent green skin.  Max was fascinated as Noah held them in his large hands.  Max said, "Hello, frog."  "Hello, snake." The frogs are mating in the ponds, a special moment every spring for Emma, as if the frogs are singing straight into her heart.  She wants to pass this love on to Max.

Posted by: EmmaPele at March 25, 2007 07:11 | link | comments (2)